Genies and Grecians and Geeks, Oh My
|Season = 5 |Antagonist = Sultan |Setting = Greece |In-Universe Date = Year 3 |Production # = V0711 |Filming Dates = 9 July to 17 July 1998 |Original Air-Date = |Written By = Paul Robert Coyle |Story By = |Teleplay By = |Directed By = John Cameron |Order in Series = 85 of 111 |Order in Season = 4 of 22 |Order in Franchise= 180 of 304 |Prev Episode in Series = "Resurrection" |Next Episode in Series = "Render Unto Caesar" |Prev Episode in Franchise = "A Family Affair" |Next Episode in Franchise = "In Sickness and in Hell" |title cap image = }} Autolycus and Salmoneus stumble upon a Sultan's lamp containing a magic genie, Jinni. Forced to share the three wishes, both attempt to improve their lives – Autolycus wishing to be invisible and Salmoneus wishing for a way to accomplish more everyday. Naturally, their wishes don't turn out exactly like they wanted. Things get even worse with the Sultan out to reclaim his property and the lamp itself getting lost in the city. Summary The episode opens up with the a Sultan accepting and rewarding people for bringing in pieces of rare art/treasure, next up is Salmoneous, who tries to sell the Sultan paintings of Hercules (obviously some of them survived from 'If I Had a Hammer'). The sultan buys them all and in reward gives Salmoneous either gold or a chance to take anything, as much as he can carry during a certain amount of time from the Sultan's personal collection of antiquities, Salmoneous is mesmerized and is loading himself up until he sees a lamp (and drops everything in his hands up to that moment) --which at the same time, Autolycus is also about to steal that lamp--they both see each other as Autolycus has lowered himself down using his King-of-Thieves gears. Salmoneous and Autolycus both grab it at the same time so that the other doesn't get it, but as they do so, a death trap intended for the visitors who traded with sultan opens up, but Salmoneous grabs onto Autolycus, who's hanging from a rope and thus escapes the common fate of those before him. As they are rolling over and trying to wrestle the lamp from the other's hands, Autolycus accidentally pulls the top off the lamp and lets out a genie. The tricky decieving genie in the end gives Autolycus and Salmoneus one wish each and they can share the third wish. Just then, the time runs out and the Sultan says to bring out the bodies...of those who had fallen in the trap, but as they go Salmoneous grabs onto Autolycus as he speds up through the rooof on his line in his usual King-of-Thieves fashion, while the Sultan yells he wants their heads. Salmoneous and Autolycus have escaped the palace and are walking around in the kingdom talking about the lamp, when Falafel comes up to have them sample his new brew that he concocted from a rare seed--coffee beans, Autolycus says it will definitely perk Salmoneus up (who's slightly under the weather because he thinks he's losing his business touch) but then they see the genie and they run off in her direction. The genie (who's dressed in an apalling 'fuzz/feather' costume, thinking it's the new fashion) lays down the ground rules, which she never finishes the list, but does say that only for personal benefits no selfless wishes are allowed (to which Autolycus replies,"Aw i was just going to ask for World Peace"). Just as Salmoneous is about to wish Autolycus take him back and warns him to be careful, he's heard genies can be very tricky and there's always a catchback to their wishes like "if you ask for a mountain of gold next thing you're under the mountain of gold", but before they get to do anything further, the Sultan's guards show up and it breaks out into a chase/fight, just when they are cornered, the genie gives a free one and trasnports them to some other place. Autolycus then wishes to be invisible to make himself and even better thief, and after a lot of thinking, Salmoneous wishes he could do a lot more in a day. The genie then tells them that the effect will set in the next morning. The next morning Autolycus wakes up to find three Salmoneous's instead of one, There's Salmoneous, an aggressive, athletic Salmoneus, and a sensitive, child-like Salmoneus, and Autolycus has become invisible (except visible to the Salmoneus'), he then goes after the Sultan's treasury now that he's invisible but finds out he cannot pick up or touch anything, because not only is he invisible, but his body is like air, it can pass through anything freely and everything can pass through him, he realizes the trick of the genie and runs off to warn Salmoneous. Autolycus comes and tells Salmoneous (the real one) that they have to get out of there as the guards barge in the room, the Salmoneus escape except for the arrogant, athletic one, who 'accidentally' tells the Sultan of the genie in the lamp, which the Sultan previously did not know about and then departs after recieving a bag of gold. Autolycus and Salmoneus say they have 1 wish to share left and then realize they don't have the lamp, meanwhile the child-like Salmoneus has tasted and liked Falafel's coffee and asks for more, but Falafal says that the first is free, but he'll have to pay or trade if he wants more, Salmoneus then bring out the lamp--which he had with him. Next the guards find the Child-like Salmoneus drinking lots of coffee and they take him to the Sultan, this sensitive Salmoneus keep blabbering and crying and the Sultan gets annoyed but Salmoneus says he gave it to the bean-man (Falafel). The Sultan's guards barge in and take away Falafel's kettle...which looked exactly like the lamp, but the Sultan eventually finds out it is the wrong one and sends them again. The real Salmoneus is hurrying with Autolycus to find the lamp and get smacked by 3 women who were possible assaulted by the arrogant Salmoneous, but as he tries to explain to them what may have happened, the sultan's guards beat him up and take him to the Sultan, while the arrogant Salmoneous tries to make the Crybaby Salmoneous shut up (stop crying-by smacking....of course it doesn't work). The Sultan finally gets the lamp and orders them to chop Salmoneus' head off, just then Autolycus comes in with the other Salmoneous's and they together help the real Salmoneus escape, then Salmoneous and Autolycus devise a plan to get back the lamp and get rid of their newly acquired characteristics. Autolycus shows the Salmoneouses how to take the lamp back without getting caught in the trap, they get it, but it does set off the trap and the noise alerts the Sultan who's just about to let another visitor 'pick whatever he wants'. He then sends his guards out to find them again, telling them not to fall for the same treachery as before (when they saw the three Salmoneus). They all escape and for the third wish they want to cancel out whatever they wish for, but according to the rules their souls are now hers and Salmoneus and Autolycus (their powers and duplicates are now gone) get stuck inside the lamp. Inside the lamp, or the genie's 'world' they find several other people who were also trapped in by trying to cancel out their wishes. Meanwhile the lamp is found and replaced in the treasure room. Autolycus then gets an idea and together with the rest of the people the sway the lamp back and forth until it falls down and they get out. Just then the genie appears and the Sultan and his guards come again. Autolycus has a nice fight and defeats them (and claims it's nice to be solid again). At the end they all decide to leave and they make genie grant their last wish, while they also wishing something for her, so that she's not lonely anymore (in the lamp is FULL of many genies/women exactly like her so she's never lonely). Because she originallly made the rules such that either a person will have to live with himself, or if he cancels out the wishes using the last wish, he'll be hers and trapped in the lamp. Salmoneous comments this could be a beginning for a beautiful relationship between him and Autolycus...they look at each other and then walk away. Disclaimer : No cool blue bongs that resemble Aladdin's lamp were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Background Information * Kevin Sorbo and Michael Hurst do not appear in this episode. * Last appearance of Salmoneus. * The pieces of artwork that Salmoneus tries to sell the Sultan first appeared in "If I Had a Hammer...". * The title is a play on the famous line from The Wizard of Oz – "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my." * Falafel refers to Autolycus as "friend," suggesting the two had previously met off-screen. - EDIT: They already met in Hercules: TLJ - 3:19 - The end of the beginning Links and References Guest Stars * Robert Trebor as Salmoneus * Hilary McMillan as Jinni * Bruce Campbell as Autolycus Other Cast * John Givins as Sultan * Paul Norell as Falafel * Inia Maxwell as Head Guard * Mike Bajko as Nazar * Gary Elliott as Shepherd * Nicola Veleta as Blonde #1 * Andrew Glover as Cryer * David Stott as Salmoneus Double Season Navigation de:Oh Mann, Salmoneus mal drei! Category:HTLJ Season 5 episodes Category:Parody Episodes